05 Jun Organising a Funeral Ceremony
I know that many people naturally fear death but funeral ceremonies are part of the process when somebody dies and organising a funeral ceremony for a loved one is deemed a sad and sometimes stressful necessity.
Because of this, I want to help people through the funeral planning process by endeavouring to create a funeral service that encompasses all of those important elements that matter to you.
In this blog, I hope to be able to address some of the unknown that can surround the funeral planning process and hopefully it will reassure and guide you and help you feel more confident about the funeral and service preparations.
Decisions to be made
THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR
When someone dies there are lots of things to consider, usually at a time when you are feeling most vulnerable. A funeral celebrant can come in to offer guidance and support at this most difficult time.
One of the first questions you need to ask is which Funeral Director should I use? There are many wonderful Funeral Directors out there to choose from and I personally work with some very dedicated and experienced Funeral Directors who always go above and beyond to help families at such a difficult time.
Once you’ve established which Funeral Director you will be asked to provide some clothes for the deceased to be dressed in. They will also ask you which coffin you would like used too, showing you various types that range in price.
Decisions about where to hold the funeral will also need to be considered. Do you want a cremation or a burial at a cemetery? You may even want to consider a more personal venue for the ceremony like a woodland area, the beach or even a garden.
You will also be asked if you want flowers for the ceremony, to be placed on the coffin. Again you will be shown a range of different styles all ranging in price. The flowers can be taken away by you after the ceremony if you wish. They can also be donated to local care homes or the hospice. You may even wish to place them on an existing family members grave or burial site.
Orders Of Service
Focus then needs to be on the ceremony itself. If you want Orders of Service you will need to find a fitting photograph or several that can be included. These should be sent to whoever is organising the Orders of Service for you.
You may also wish to consider having a photographic tribute, whereby a range of photographs are shown on a screen at the crematorium accompanied by a chosen piece of music. (check to ensure your chosen crematorium has this facility).
Music choices are an intrinsic part of any ceremony therefore consider music that has some meaning. Perhaps you and the deceased had a song that was ‘special’ to you both or maybe the deceased has left instructions as to what pieces of music they would like?
Making each service personal is important to me therefore, if any family member wishes to speak at the ceremony I would actively encourage them to do so. They may wish to write there own tribute or even chose a fitting poem.
Let Me Help
My first step is to meet you and your family. I want to sit with you and hear all about the life of your loved one. I want to get to know you, and them, and hear you paint a picture of what they were like. This is often an opportunity to laugh, cry, talk and remember. It is a personal and private experience. One that allows me to capture the true essence of your loved one. My hope is to make you feel relaxed and reminiscent.
Capturing Their Essence
I will then create a ceremony that is unique to you and your loved one. A ceremony that honours their life in a dignified way. I always try to ensure that their true personality is captured in the ceremony and that the tone is one of respect in the most fitting way.
After The Ceremony
After the ceremony, it is common for the mourners to offer condolences to the family on the way out of the venue. They can then make their way to the wake. A wake can be held in any venue you choose. It can be anything from a cup of tea and chat to a fully catered evening with drinks. I will advise the attendees of the plans and wishes of the family during the service.
Let Me Make It Easier For You
I hope to make the funeral planning process that little bit easier on those that are tasked with it because whilst no funeral is a happy event it is very possible to create a wonderful celebration of life.
“As is a tale, so is a life: Not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters” Seneca